deck the halls with bolts & alarm systems

Like the title? ...yea, there's a bit of sarcasm in it.  Over the holidays we have seen, heard, experienced, & then some.  Instead of thinking about spending time as a family trying to carry on traditions we had as kids & planning time to be with family & friends, we've been forced to think about new ways to provide safety & security in more ways than one.  Devyn is very attracted to water & is now able to work the safety knobs on all the doors.  One day I was working on dinner & it hit me I hadn't heard Devyn playing close by lately.  I did the search through the house to find him in my bathtub in straight hot water, fully clothed (water heater was turned back thank God).  The same day, I went downstairs to put laundry in & Devyn figured out the lock on the garage door & ran outside.  Luckily we noticed right away & were able to catch him quick.  We are on to the next phase of safety.  We are constantly researching, asking, analyzing, thinking about what is the best things we can do to keep him safe & his twin brother who's needs are different.   Lately even my dreams have been overrun by concerns of worse case scenarios of Devyn somehow getting outside in the middle of the night in the freezing cold & the rest of us don't wake up to the alarms going off.  Ummm, this Momma says it's time to start working on getting a service dog.  It has been a weary holiday break starving for a glimpse of health & hope.  One fact that resonates is that yes, it has been bleak these last two weeks but it is a reminder not to place our hope in things or for things on this earth.  They are fleeting & can't go with us.  This time is about the birth of The Only Hope... Hope that one day the only thing we'll have to worry about is what fun thing to do together next!

The other source of concern for safety & security comes from the media's selective input of the horrible tragedy that happened at Sandy Hook School.   It tears me up inside, the losses of that day, & trying to imagine for a moment what it would be like to be in those parents' shoes.  Then, you add on the negative stigma being spread about Autism by the media based on assumptions & not fact & leaving out key points all because of a lack of knowledge & unwillingness to understand the true, fully-explained, characteristics & symptoms of the disorder.  They are looking for something to blame & pushing gun control & bullying special needs as the answer.  All it has caused is an undue ripple effect of ill-will, further isolation, obstacles, & harm to special needs individuals.  Autism is not the cause, blame & gun control are not the answer.  It takes each person choosing to live each day with compassion, kindness, unconditional love, forgiveness, respect, & contentment.   Here's a statement from a family that volunteers with Autism Speaks that paints the picture on the affects.  "At an early age I taught my child that does not have autism that he will always come into contact with people who are afraid of what they do not understand and will say hurtful things and that does not define what his brother is or what we are as a family. We are key volunteer for autism speaks and have worked over the last several years to take away the mystery of this disorder- So my 13 year old went to school yesterday...and was confronted by a 12 year old that he does not know to confronted him in the hallway to say 'Don't you have a brother that has autism" to which my child said "yes" and he was told "you know that the kid that killed all those kids had autism" to which my son said "yes - but that is not my brother" It is a terrible thing that has happened and the shooter is dead, however, the families that have a child with autism are left with the shame of what he did.The media should look at the way our country treats mental illness & autism, how the school system does not give individuals with autism the social support that is so critical- the media should look at how hard our families have worked to get laws passed to get access to care from our insurance companies only for the law to be regulated in ways that make it impossible for families to access support.... check out the autism insurance law in NY - find out from Gov. how many actually professional can provide care and support in the state of NY - the number is under 50. The media should be more careful in pointing blame to a segment of our society that is more likely to be physically abused, sexually abused, mentally abused and even killed by school staff and law enforcement because the person did not respond in a typical way. It is a horrible, terrible thing that has happened to our country- but please do not sacrifice the families and individuals that have autism- we are already isolated and stigmatized enough." here's a link to more coverage & awareness of the truth, http://www.autismspeaks.org/news/news-item/autism-speaks-responds-claims-media-linking-autism-spectrum-disorders-planned-violenc

Sooo, now I gotta play some clean up.  I've been reading over some journaling from the summer & this, I think, ties in....
  The "Blame Game" (Job 38:1-18), good 'ole Webster defines it as... doing everything but taking responsibility for your part in a dispute or accepting a situation for what it is.  Which then leads to "Grudges" (Ecc 3:6,Heb 12:1)- "Holding a grudge" is just holding on to the feelings of anger, hurt, & pride as a result of whatever offense that took place against you or the assumption of an offense. That's like letting a destructive tenant live rent-free in your mind...nuts!  Instead of playing the wounded victim or reacting with the first nasty retort that comes to mind (that never happens right? ;P ), take a step back, think it through, & reflect on self first (yea...you, me, & everyone in between). What could I have done or said that caused them to react the way they did? If it has nothing to do with you, then break it down...what is causing them to react this way?  What happened to them that would cause them to choose to do that to me? Adam spoke these words of truth to me early on in our relationship & I couldn't believe the relief it gave me & the healing power it provided over a past trauma (John 8:32). I try to use this with everything that comes my way.  It allows us to remember that "a soft answer turns away wrath" (Prov 15:1). This leads to confession whether you feel the situation warrants it or not.

Confession (1John 1:9, James 5:16)- is admitting or acknowledging something. Confession to God & others promotes a cleansing process...cleaning out the "cob-webs" in our minds. Kicking out that "dirty tenant" & replacing it with truth. This is an area where God used Adam's example to open my eyes. Early in our marriage, when we would disagree or argue, he would apologize or confess almost immediately for whatever he could have possibly said or done that I took offense to. Even the times when it was clearly me trying to start something ;/ A lot of times, I'm embarrassed to admit, I would be like, "Uh-uh! You're not getting off that easy! This is sooo not over! I am totally going to hold on to this for at least a day or two & stay angry & give you the silent treatment, even though I completely forget what I was even upset about!" LOL, poor guy...what a mess ;P I finally woke up when he apologized for something that he had no place taking responsibility for. I was just being a selfish, prideful dumby & I've been working on that ever since, thank goodness.

Forgiveness- to excuse, pardon, renounce. It's not a magical "one-time cures all" potion. Sometimes it takes choosing to forgive every time that offense, hurt, or situation comes back to haunt you from time to time. Put it in it's place, take that thought captive to Christ (2Cor 10:5) & replace it with the truth, "I've already forgiven that" (Col 3:12-17). Who am I that I won't forgive, when Christ forgives me over & over & over again (Eph 4:32). I read in an article from onechristianministry.com, "When Christ told Peter to forgive 70x7, He was saying to forgive until the end of the world (Matt 18:21-22)."