StUcK

Sometimes I just feel stuck... stuck in my own foggy brain, stuck in our circumstances, stuck in a pit I can't seem to climb out of even though "I" created it.  Ever feel that way & try not to admit it?  I really get on myself too, "other people have bigger struggles", "it's all in your head", "just have to choose to push through", ....it starts sounding like the Charlie Brown teacher, "whah whah whah".  Bleh!! This week has been stenchy dealing with a lot of change, Autism stuff, health problems, & struggling with wanting a timeout from the game... it's just been an off week for us.  Summer is great, but at some point the green monster always hits me.  I hear everyone talking about going away on their vacations for a week or more to the beach, carefree days at the pool laying out & soaking in the relaxation, day trips, helping at camp or other places.  Between military & Autism, for us... it's a crapshoot.  This summer is ridden with tough, big decisions & of course, paperwork. I just don't want to deal with it.  Go ahead... stamp me a whiner, lazy, or shout out an "AMEN!!"... either way I'm right there with ya. Don't get me wrong, this is just my mental state right now. I get to a place where I have to stop, write it out, play some tunes, & hand it over to the Big Guy. I'm hoping by sharing this awkward moment it will help someone else realize they aren't the only one & that it's time to pull the plug on Debbie Downer. Let's get it out tonight before it festers, rub some dirt in it, suck it up, & start tomorrow with some grit. 

For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. -Philippians 1:21

Helen Keller, who is a classic example of handling life’s handicaps, said, “I thank God for my handicaps, for through them I have found myself, my work, and my God.” Some people with handicaps drown themselves in self-pity, and thus limit their usefulness and service to mankind and to God. The Apostle Paul knew the pangs of suffering. He used his infirmity rather than allowing his infirmity to use him, and he used it for the glory of God. He seized everything, even death, to glorify his Lord. No matter which way fate turned, he was one jump ahead of it, and using it to magnify his Savior.
-Daily Devotional by Billy Graham

My anthem for tonight, tomorrow is fresh & new...

Well, everybody's got a story to tell
And everybody's got a wound to be healed
I want to believe there's beauty here
'Cause oh, I get so tired of holding on
I can't let go, I can't move on
I want to believe there's meaning here

How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this?"
How many times have you given me strength to 
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now

Standing on a road I didn't plan
Wondering how I got to where I am
I'm trying to hear that still small voice
I'm trying to hear above the noise

How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this?"
How many times have you given me strength to 
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now

Though I walk, 
Though I Walk through the shadows
And I, I am so afraid
Please stay, Please stay right beside me
With every single step I take

How many times have you heard me cry out?
And how many times have you given me strength?

How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this?"
How many times have you given me strength to 
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.