tackling "GOLIATH"

Tackling "Goliath"... fighting the surge of thoughts & emotions in dealing with some of the behaviors our Autistic son struggles with.  "Courage does not always roar.  Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow." -Mary Anne Radmacher

Right now, Devyn is struggling terribly with his eating disorder...here are some blips of our lives that we updated our facebook friends with... "Oh Mr. Devyn, I ache to figure out what is causing all of your struggle these last few days. Praying for guidance & wisdom for the increased behaviors, wandering, self-limiting diet, self-injury, pica, & unexplained fevers."   More recently we posted... "Our situation with Devyn unfortunately has not improved. He has actually severely limited his diet to cereal only, refuses to drink anything with even the minutest amount of supplements in it (needed to improve the deficiencies) & pica has increased. Monday we see the doctor to make a game plan. We are praying to avoid the feeding clinic or anything drastic, & hoping for dramatic improvement in the meantime. Please continue to pray for guidance, wisdom, & strength."

Kathy Medina writes in her devotional book "Finding God in Autism"..."The pain that came to our hearts when our son was diagnosed with autism was so strong it captivated my mind for about one & a half years. We are held captive by anything that keeps us from living the life God wants for us. I was captivated because it paralyzed me from moving forward. Autism not only invaded our son, it invaded our entire family, our entire life. It wreaked havoc with our finances, our time, our home, our friendships, our jobs...in fact it is so pervasive, there was not any part of our lives which it did not affect. In many ways, Satan won for a while."  I can strongly relate to where she is in this statement...mine was called "The Mess of 2008", an earlier post on this blog.  The info. below helped so much in making me aware & choosing positive coping. 

Accepting the stages of grief & utilizing spiritual resilience to cope & move on. 
Military & special needs families are no strangers to the stages of grieving & recognizing some stages are more severe than others, depending on the situation, or they can be very minimal. I am not leaving out that people outside these groups experience these things just the same, but like I said I am relating to what I have experienced.

There are 5 basic stages:
1. shock/denial- numbing your emotions to avoid pain.
2. pain/guilt- as shock & denial wear off the effects of pain, & thoughts of what did I do wrong,
                      or what could I have done better set in.
3. anger/bargaining- blame, the why me's, & trying to bargain with a higher power
4. depression/reflection/loneliness- sad reflection of what was or could have been, & possibly lead to despair & isolation
5. acceptance/hope- learning to be content with what is & accept it, & finding hope to move forward.

Which leads to Spiritual Resilience (what makes life worth living/life animators): Honestly, I connected with the pre-deploy & reintegration trainings through the military, Hooah!!. I really like the condensed, simple break down of our last deployment training because regardless of religion we can all relate to spirituality (understandings & beliefs that enable coping, comfort, & meaning).
He called it "The Big 5 Inventory":
1. "Forgive me"- owning up
2. "Forgive you"- let go of resentment
3. "Thank you"- counting blessings
4. "I love you"- acknowledging what is important
5. "Good bye"- let go of what you can't control

can't be reminded enough: 
Philippians 4:6-7

New International Version (NIV)

⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

check out Mercy Me's song "Move":
www.godtube.com/watch/?v=FJJEJCNU

Autism- "ask me, know me, accept me"

Great workshop yesterday with Pathfinders for Autism. A nice reminder that if you have a non-verbal child/adult, behavior is there first line of communication. This can even be true of verbal individuals on the Spectrum. Don't assume it is attention-getting or just a classic autistic behavior, rule out pain first...there could be an underlying medical cause. If he/she is hitting at their head, could it be a headache? Tugging at their clothes or refusing to eat a certain food or go into a store?  Think sensory overload, their nervous system is overwhelmed & highly sensitive causing a great deal of discomfort & even severe pain.

Another great reminder, be careful what you say or do in front of your Autistic individual. Whether you think they understand or not, they are processing that information & may not say or show a response but you will be amazed at what they retain. "You will reap what you sow." One of the speakers shared an example of her 19yr old son who is non-verbal. Every morning for as long as she can remember she told him, "you are so smart & handsome!" A few years ago at school he was asked to do a writing assignment describing himself.  He wrote, "I am smart, I am handsome!" I don't know about you, but that is too cool!

Lastly, some encouragement they shared in working with newly diagnosed families. They always say, "don't get down or disappointed with this diagnosis. You have an amazingly intelligent & intriguing person in your care that will touch so many lives & do amazing things in this world!" It is so true! The speaker again shared an example of her non-verbal son, that on the outside it seems like he just has behaviors & not able to communicate but if you take time to "ask him, know him, & accept him" you will learn that he has likes & interests the same as you & he can read in 12 different languages! How amazing!! It is a challenging journey & life as you know it may have to be redefined, but you will be a better person through it :)

Check out their website www.pathfindersforautism.org for tips, resources, & events. A link to their site is available on www.prayinwesternmd.org, a local non-profit that we are involved with providing local resources & upcoming events & workshops.

here's something to smile about:
http://www.thedaily.com/article/2012/10/18/101912-ent-katy-perry-johnson/

hope for a starfish

Hope in Action- Jer. 29:11-12, this is the life verse of one of my inspiring battle buddies. We've drudged the trenches together & I admire how even when she gets knocked down she's gonna stand back up boldly, brush it off, & press on. ( love ya, friend ;) )
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you & not to harm you, plans to give you hope & a future. Then you will call upon Me & come & pray to Me, & I will listen to you. You will seek Me & find Me when you seek Me with all your heart." 

In the "Finding God in Autism" devotional, Kathy Medina relates this to her son. Claiming the promise that God has a plan to prosper him & give him a future. God does not make mistakes, there is a reason. She states, "Whatever God's plan is, it is perfect. No more, no less. Even though we can sometimes feel completely blind to what the future will be, we still need to press forward. Jer. 29:11 tells us God has a plan, but verse 12 tells us we need to do our part. To go, pray & talk to God, & do it with ALL of our heart."

Hope is the driving force of change & change requires choosing to take action. This reminds me of a story I heard called, "Making a Difference"...

An old man walked up a shore littered with thousands of starfish, 

beached & dying after a storm...

A young man was picking them up & flinging them back into the ocean...

"Why do you bother?" the old man scoffed..."You're not saving enough 

to make a difference"....

The young man picked up another starfish & sent it spinning back into the water. 

"Made a difference to that one," he said. ;D