(I haven't written here for a while, just believe there is good reason, but I am breaking that for a hot second.)
To the sweet, dear person who was so carefully trying to say a nice thing, I love your heart. I love your heart to the place that I have to set the record straight.
When you said, "God only gives special needs or, (fill in the blank), children to special people who He knows can handle it," you are giving me/we "special" parents a title that isn't ours to own. If that was a complete truth, we would act accordingly 100% of the time. There wouldn't be a need for foster care or adoption, kids wouldn't be neglected, abused, forced into slavery, or treated as a curse. Believe me, dear soul, if I had superhero capabilities I would eradicate all evil & look amazing in an elastic body suit. HA! Let's face it, that's not happening.
Here is what I believe, I'm not saying I am right, it is just where I am in the process. I absolutely believe with all of my being that every little person is a gift, no matter how or when, special needs or not. WE are then given the opportunity to choose (free will) what we will think & do. I will tell you right now, I spent most of 2008 NOT choosing well. It took me 10 months to figure out all of the grieving was mostly over what I had unconsciously hoped for. Please hear me out, it is okay to grieve, we need to, I need to. The process is crucial in healing & you can't rush it. There is no deadline. Sometimes the bandaid gets ripped off & there you are again.
Once I got back on my feet, I made a choice to make the best of our situation & look beyond my definitions. That doesn't mean I don't struggle with it. Heck yes I do & I sometimes have to make that choice moment by moment. Let me unpack that… what I am saying is that no matter what person or situation I am confronted with, I alone control how I will perceive and respond. Along this journey so far, God has opened my eyes through jaw-dropping experiences, priceless wisdom, simple-profound truths, unfathomable peace, & ridiculous amounts of happy. It comes with a price though… sacrifice of my selfish ambitions, pride, & a bunch of other yuck that needs to go anyway. Ya know... the 2 little twin boys God placed in my care, that face the affects of Autism everyday... THEY inspire me to be a special person for them. They are the answer to so many of my prayers for wisdom, patience, healing, understanding, unconditional love, contentment, strength, courage, purpose, & much much more.
Sometimes I think we "normals" might have the disability. We get so caught up in this side of life's definition of success and greatness that we disable our minds from the real meaning. We over complicate the obvious; we are simply here to love and serve. Period. "Every one of us are made in the image of God. We all have a divine capacity for greatness." -(Andy Stanley) It just depends on whether your definition lines up with His. Imagine what the world would be like if we believed that about ourselves and everyone else!
So who am I? I may not be a superhero parent, but I/you/we are made in the image of God, Christian or not. What breaks your heart? Do something about it. I can hear the excuses coming through… stop it. Do what you can. "Not every opportunity is our assignment -(Lysa TerKeurst)" ...but we can all do something. Nothing ever changes by wishing it. Be the change.
Joshua 1:9(NLT)- This is my command— be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Let that sink in. believe it. now go.
